What can be done to prevent children being sexually abused?
A safe relationship between adults and children is one in which secrets are hard to keep; where children would feel able to tell someone even if they hadn't been able to say 'no' to the abuse.
People who want to abuse children avoid these situations. The more difficult we make it for abusers to come between children and parents or carers, the better-protected children will be.
Sometimes the abuser is a parent or another close family member. When that happens it's especially painful for the safe parent or other family members to face it and it's even harder for children to say 'no' and tell someone.
There are things we can all do to prevent the sexual abuse of children. Sometimes a person outside the child's immediate family has a clearer view of what is going on than those more closely involved.
1. Be aware of the warning signs that someone we know may have a sexual interest in children and seek help if we are worried.
Make sure we understand the signs listed here so that we are aware of what to look out for at an early stage. If we think someone we know has a sexual interest in or may be abusing a child, seek professional help. Don't keep it a secret.
2. Talk to children, and listen to what they have to say
People who sexually abuse children rely on secrecy. They try to silence children and to build trust with adults, counting on us to be silent if we have doubts. The first step to tackling this secrecy is to develop an open and trusting relationship with our children.
This means listening carefully to their fears and concerns and letting them know they should not worry about telling us anything. It is important to talk with them about sex, and to be comfortable using the words they may need.
3. Demonstrate to children that it is all right to say 'no'
Teach children when it is OK to say 'no', for example when they do not want to play, or be tickled, hugged or kissed. Help them to understand what is unacceptable behaviour and that they must always tell us if someone is behaving in a way which worries them, even if they were unable to say no at the time.
4. Set and respect family boundaries
Make sure that all members of the family have rights to privacy in dressing, bathing, sleeping and other personal activities. Even young children should be listened to and their preferences respected.
5. Take sensible precautions about whom we choose to take care of our children
Physical signs e.g. unexplained soreness, pain or bruises around genitals or mouth; sexually-transmitted diseases, pregnancy
Running away
Please Note: Some of these signs may be caused by other factors and changes in a child's life. If you are worried talk to someone you trust or ring the Stop it Now! Helpline 0808 1000 900.
Be careful about who children are left with. Find out as much as we can about baby-sitters and don't leave our child with anyone we have reservations about. If our child is unhappy about being cared for by a particular adult, talk to the child about the reasons for this.
